Okay. When your pants don’t fit, when the bathroom scale screams for mercy, when your own body gives up and decides diabetes is a way to give you a wake up call, it’s time to lose some weight. Yes, I know, that ice cream is sure the one to make a nice evening relaxing (whoever watched movies with carrot sticks?) and that bag of Doritos isn’t going to eat themselves. Yes, I can do without those, that’s not the problem.

I’ve always been big. I’ve got a big frame which makes me  bigger than the pencil thin size 0’s that are the fashion epitomy right now. I’m okay with that. As a matter of fact, despite my size, I still feel and think of myself as sexy. I don’t lack for male attention and men do find me sexy. However, when I was a teenager, I was well-muscled. At age 16 I had a six-pack. Now it’s more like a full case.

My weight wasn’t an issue until about 7 or so years ago. I was caring for my parents and not sleeping well. I was misdiagnosed with an anxiety disorder and put on anti-anxiety meds. Those meds awoke a demon that was always laying just under the surface. I like to eat. Love it. However, I’ve kept it under control and exercised. While on the meds (which didn’t make things better, only induced anxiety) two things happened. First, I began to feel too anxious to leave my home (how I managed to care for my parents in this state is a mystery). Second, I got hungry. Ravenous. Beyond anything I felt starving. I couldn’t stop eating. Whole boxes of mac and cheese would be followed by boiled eggs, sandwiches, you name it. My other vice was soda. I drank it by the ton.

So here I am, years later, off the meds and returned back to school (Grant MacEwan’s Professional Writing program). Now the weight is a problem. I have diabetes and had ligament reconstruction surgery on my ACL ligament on my left knee. The truth? My body simply can’t handle the extra weight. I’m at risk for all sorts of problems now such as heart and stroke (both of which my father suffered from), cancer (my brother and father died of cancer), not to mention all the fun stuff that happens with diabetes. My A1C (blood sugar) is under control right now, but that could change. If I really want to control the diabetes, I need to lose the weight.

So I decided I would let my readers join me on this journey. Oh, I know there are a thousand blogs about the same thing but this is something for me. It will be funny, sad, horrifying and even embarassing for all of us. I need to share this, reader, I need to feel like I’m not alone. I hope you will join me.

So, tomorrow I will post a picture of myself as I am now (it’s a little late to do it now). I will post a picture regularly so you can see my weight loss. I will give regular updates about my weight and what I’m doing.

To start: I weight 250 lbs and tomorrow I start Weight Watchers. That’s step one. Let’s see how that goes.

Advertisements