Pansexual pride symbol

Symbol used by the pansexual community

I’ve heard a new term recently, “pansexual”. I like it because I’ve finally found a word that fits me. Let me see if I can describe what it means.

Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual are all terms that describe what gender a person is attracted to. What happens if you’re not attracted to a gender but are attracted to a person? Pansexual people are those people who simply attracted to a person because of personality, looks, intelligence, basically who the person is. Their gender just happens to be part of the package. Pansexuals love the person, not the gender.

Now, I’ve been told by many in the GLBT community that pansexuality doesn’t exist. That it’s just gays/lesbians/bisexuals who are trying to deny their true sexuality. These are usually the same people telling me that bisexuals don’t exist and that they’re really closeted gays. I’ve also been told that pansexuality is a way for some people to feel like their better than those who are gay/lesbian/bisexual or even straight. After all, pansexuals do look beyond the gender to the person.

I’m not going to say I’m better than anyone else or that being attracted to one gender or another is wrong. I don’t know of many pansexuals who would. However, what I will say is that I love people and sometimes those people are men and sometimes they’re women. Most of all, it’s not about how many X’s or Y’s are in their genetic coding. For me, I am attracted to people with strong, ambitious, driven personalities who show a lot of intelligence. Their gender just happens to be a happy surprise along with the package.

I remember clearly the night I came out as being bisexual. I let my friends know but told them clearly I wasn’t attracted to both genders, as such. Rather, I said, I just liked people and proceeded to describe what I now know is pansexual attraction. My friends, who are no longer in my life, laughed at me and told me I’d get used to the idea and wouldn’t have to qualify it any more. I didn’t think I was qualifying. I thought I was explaining my feelings. Yes, this was a group of gay and lesbian people.

Pansexual pride flag

This is the flag used by the pansexual community

 I would like to ask the GLBT community to get past their shortsightedness and accept the pansexual community as they are. Please stop telling us that we’re lying to ourselves or justifying anything. We’re not. This is who we really are. We’re not better than you, just different. Please accept us otherwise we’ll start having to hold our own parades.