I have never had children by choice. I’m not much of a mommy person and pregnancy kind of freaks me out (more on that on another blog). More to the point, I’ve never had men stick around in my life long enough to become daddies to any mini-mes I may have. I believe that men do have a responsibility to the children they bring in this world, but back in the 80s, when I would have been having children, it was a very different reality. I made the decision not to have any children unless I could adequately provide for them as a single mother with no help from the father.

Let me explain. If I’d had children and the father stuck around and was a good daddy, that’s great but anything could happen. Cancer, death, abduction by aliens, anything. For any number of reasons the father might be removed from the picture and, as the mother, it was up to me to provide for my child alone. I never felt like I could do that.

In 1988, the abortion laws in Canada were deemed unconstitutional and they were struck down in R. v. Morgentaler thus allowing women to terminate pregnancies with greater freedom. A woman does not have to consult the father or even let him know she is getting one. She can simply terminate the pregnancy and be on her way. I am in full support of allowing women to have the freedom to choose what happens with their bodies. I think that allowing women to terminate pregnancies without fear of reprisal is important. I do not agree with the pro-lifers who say that a woman has to carry a child through to delivery. However, women, freedom comes with a price.

If women want the freedom to terminate their pregnancies then they must take responsibility for those pregnancies. It is not viable to put all the responsibility on men. How many times has the line “he got her pregnant” been uttered? Why isn’t it, “they got her pregnant”? Women, you want the freedom to choose over your own bodies, well fine. The choice starts long before you ever walk into the clinic.

Personally, I am tired of women repeatedly having babies and  then society beating up the men for it. I know of women whose chosen partner has multiple children in the world (one man had fathered 10 children) and having more children with that man. In these cases the men have proven they’re not responsible and aren’t going to be a father to yet another brood of children. Don’t believe me?  Go talk to their babies’ mamas. Yet, in some sort of reproduction frenzy, these women will have multiple children with them then act surprised when he takes off to spread his seed elsewhere. Wake up, ladies, this wasn’t a shock to anyone but you.

Then what do the majority of these women do? They need to provide for their children, right? So, off to the welfare offices where you and I get to pay for these children. Wait a minute. I said I didn’t want children and now I have to pay for someone else’s child because they’re too stupid to take birth control or use a condom? How is that fair?

Women, if you want the freedom of choice for your bodies without the fathers being able to have any say, then you have to take responsibility for that freedom. If you bring a child into this world, understand that anything can happen to make you a single parent. Before you get pregnant ask yourself; am I prepared to raise this child as a single mother emotionally, psychologically and financially (physically)? If the answer is no or hemming and hawing, use a condom or get on birth control. There are far too many children brought into the world where the parents are unable to care for them. Don’t shuffle the blame off to the men. You wanted autonomy over your body, you got it.

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