Last night I opened my freezer and discovered a bottle of Diet Pepsi in the freezer. I stared at it blankly. When did the house fairies put that in there? Nothing they do surprises me any more. House fairies are amazing. They can move anything in the blink of an eye to mess you up. Trip over a coffee table? I guarantee the house fairies moved it when you weren’t looking so you’d trip over it. Cat running around the house like he just ate an 8-ball? House fairies are either chasing him or letting him chase them. You can blame anything on the house fairies.

However, the Diet Pepsi in the freezer, as much as I’d like to deny doing it, was me. I don’t remember it and that’s the part that frightens me. I have a sleeping disorder called REM Behavioural Disorder which often causes me to do things in my sleep. I have done amazing things in my sleep such as baking, cooking and even somehow winding up halfway across the city in my pyjamas in a field in the middle of winter. To put that in context, I live in Edmonton, Alberta and temperatures in winter can often reach -40 degrees Celcius. So, doing odd things like putting a bottle of Diet Pepsi in the freezer is not so out of the norm for me. It’s entirely possible.

The other problem is Alzheimer’s runs in my family. When I was in my early 20s, my mother started showing the first signs of Alzheimer’s. It was amusing at first, then it was sad, now it’s bleak. At first it was small things, forgetting to get something from the store or repeatedly getting the same thing over and over. My family and I had a good chuckle over some of the things that happened. Until she got arrested for shoplifting.

My mother did the grocery shopping and was looking at some jam. Four jars of it. She put the jam in her basket, not sure if she was going to buy it or not and promptly forgot it was there. In the basket was her purse. She thought she had put the jam in the basket, she later told me, but in reality she had placed the jam in her purse. She paid for her purchases and forgot about the jam. Store security caught her as she was walking out and had her arrested. This was the wake up call for my family.

So now I wonder if Diet Pepsi in the freezer is my wake up call or if it’s simply my nocturnal habits again. I’m not sure. The problem is that while an MRI scan can be done to diagnose for Alzheimer’s at an early stage, Alberta doctors won’t order it done. Why is beyond me. If I had the money I could go to a private company and get it done. I don’t have the money so any early diagnosis and treatment is beyond me.

For now I’ll tell the house fairies to stop putting my Diet Pepsi in the freezer. I’ll leave out some cookies for them instead. I hear they like chocolate chip.

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